29 May

i’m almost 28 weeks pregnant and it still hasn’t sunk in that in a few months, jason and i will have a BABY. it just seems nuts.

i’m still waiting for the day that i wake up and discover that this whole pregnancy has been an elaborate hoax perpetrated on me by jason, the staff at kaiser, and my body.  yes, i’m ridiculous.


bye bye clothes.

17 May

i’m 26 weeks pregnant today, which means i’m ALMOST in my third trimester.  we’re almost there!!

this also means that i am reduced to about 2 pre-pregnancy shirts that are still long enough to cover my baby belly and fit comfortably enough that i can keep wearing them.  my wardrobe now mostly involves maternity clothing. months ago i packed away most of my pre-pregnancy clothes but even now, most of what i left out from the last “cleansing” doesn’t fit anymore…

so we went to target last night and got some more big plastic bins.  since jason and i are most likely going to be staying in our little condo until after we have the baby (the house hunting has basically stalled due to lack of properties on the market), i’ve started packing up things we don’t need in the immediate future (such as winter clothes, non nursing bras, books, etc) so we can start putting them into storage.  jason’s clothes are next!!!  he has so many that he doesn’t wear and they take up so much room!!

the plan is to empty closet space, rearrange a few things, and basically de-clutter.  we’re going to put away my desk that is currently in the guest bedroom and rearrange/redistribute the furniture in that room and our bedroom.  babyboy’s crib will go in the little alcove in our room between the bathroom and our giant king sized bed.  since i won’t be able to decorate a nursery before baby is born, i’ll have to content myself with just decorating the wall right behind his crib. 🙂

so many things to do!  we’re in double digits today!

tricky tricky husband.

9 Apr

whenever i get an unhealthy pregnancy craving (such as carne asada fries, or tonkatsu ramen, or milkshakes, or spam musubi), jason tells me “oh we’ll get it during the weekend ok?”  so then i pout and say ok because i’m obviously not going to drive to wherever by myself late at night in the middle of the work week. 

THEN on the weekend he distracts me with grocery shopping and looking at things for the baby and etc…  so we never end up going to get whatever it is that i was craving earlier in the week.


i have compiled a list!!

things i want to eat, in no particular order:
dan tat from 85 degrees.  far.
boba.  not too far but why is tea station so expensive??
ham and cheese croissants.  from tartines.  very very far.
carne asada fries and quesadillas from lolitas.
strawberry milkshakes from dairy queen.
refried beans from rubios.
spam musubi from homestyle hawaiian.
tonkatsu ramen from somewhere yummy.
soft pretzels from auntie anne’s.
artichoke dip that i have to make.  SIGH.

i’ll have morning sickness for the next 20 weeks.

5 Apr

last friday we found out that our babymar is a boy! but to be honest, i already had a suspicion. even though i super love baby girl clothes and shoes and headbands, and wanted to buy all these lovely things for my future daughter, at night i would dream of a sweet little boy laughing and giggling as i played with him and kissed him. i loved those dreams!

AND after my morning sickness went on and on past the 13 week mark, i was pretty sure that i was going to have a boy… because my mom was the same way when she was pregnant with my brother. she was sick the entire time. and here i am at 20 weeks, and still getting morning sickness.

only 20 more weeks to go!

17 weeks!

14 Mar

reaching the point in my pregnancy where my regular clothes are NOT QUITE fitting but i don’t actually look completely pregnant yet.  basically, i just look fat in my clothes now.  rawr.  i’ve already broken down and bought some maternity jeans that are of course, too long.  but i can’t hem them properly because my mom borrowed my sewing machine.  i guess i’ll just have to iron and do it by hand.

here’s baby at 15.5 weeks.  it’s my little alien!

it has been a hard month.

11 Nov

i posted this a long time ago.  when i was younger and wiser, apparently.

it still applies.  always, always.

you say: “it’s impossible”.
God says: “all thing are possible.” (luke 18:27)

you say: “i’m too tired.”
God says: “i will give you rest.” (matthew 11:28-20)

you say: “nobody really loves me.”
God says: “i love you.” (john 3:16/john 3:34)

you say: “i can’t go on.”
God says: “my grace is sufficient.” (2 corinthians 12:9/psalm 91:15)

you say: “i can’t figure things out.”
God says: “i will direct your steps.” (proverbs 3:5-6)

you say: “i can’t do it.”
God says: “you can do all things in me.” (philippians 4:13)

you say, “It’s not worth it.”
God says: “It will be worth it.” (romans 8:28)

You say: “i can’t forgive myself.”
God says: “i forgive you.” (1 john 1:9/romans 8:1)

you say: “i can’t manage.”
God says: “i will supply all your needs.” (philippians 4:19)

you say: “i’m afraid.”
God says: “i did not give you a spirit of timidity.” (2 timothy 1:7)

you say: “i’m always worried and frustrated.”
God says: “cast all your cares upon me.” (1 peter 5:7)

you say: “i don’t have enough faith.”
God says: “i’ve given everyone a measure of faith.” (romans 12:3)

you say: “i’m not smart enough.”
God says: “i have given you wisdom.” (1 corinthians 1:30)

you say: “i feel all alone.”
God says: “i will never leave you nor forsake you.” (hebrews 13:5)


14 Oct

so, this is what despair feels like.

my observant husband.

11 Oct

jason: “no make-up today?”

me: “um, what?”

jason: “why aren’t you wearing make-up today?”

me:  ::blink blink::  “what are you talking about?  i AM wearing makeup!”

jason:  “oh, just very light?”

me:  …. “no.  the normal amount!”

jason:  “oh wait, i can see it now.”

jason says (in his defense) “it was dark!  i couldn’t see very well!”  but lies, we were in the dining room/kitchen area and there is plenty of natural light there.  maybe my poor husband has forgotten what i look like without makeup??


5 Oct

sometimes when i’m busy doing a bunch of things, i forget to breathe.  and not a figurative stop and smell the flowers forget to breathe, but in the literal i am not passing air through my lungs forget to breathe.

i get all lightheaded and then i suddenly realize that i’ve been holding my breath.

yes, i do realize that this means i’m kinda sorta already crazy.

marcella hazan is awesome.

1 Oct

marcella hazan’s milk braised pork

3 tablespoons of butter
2 1/2 pounds of pork (we used pork butt.  shoulder.  whatever.)
salt and pepper (to taste)
4 cups of whole milk (the recipe actually calls for 2.5 cups but since i don’t drink whole milk, we just used an entire quart.  cause good luck on buying 2.5 cups of milk.)

in a heavy bottomed pot/pan (big enough to fit the pork, we used our le creuset), melt butter on medium heat, add pork and evenly brown on all sides (we salt and peppered before browning, though the recipe does not call for it).  add salt, pepper and slowly add 1 cup of milk.  allow the milk to come to a simmer and then reduce heat to medium-low.  cover with lid slightly ajar.  cook for about 1 hour, turning the meat occasionally.  the milk will turn into a nut-brown sauce, which may or may not take a hour.  when the milk has reached this stage, add one more cup of milk.  bring to a simmer for about 10 min, then cover the pot with the lid tightly on.  check on it occasionally.  at about the 30 minute mark, set the lid slightly ajar and continue cooking until there is no more liquid in the pan.   add another 1/2 cup of milk (we added 1 cup here), and continue to cook the pork until it is tender.  we like our pork super tender so added another cup of milk and cooked it down again.

delicious with a bed of arugula.  yum!  i also added a couple tablespoons of fresh rosemary to the braising liquid but i’m crazy like that.  i’ve never met a recipe that i can’t leave alone.

also, can i say how much i love marcella hazan?  her recipes (the ones that i’ve tried) are simple and amazing and delicious.  i definitely need to buy essentials of classic italian cooking.