you and me.

31 May

jason and i have been married for 3 years.  we’ve been “together” for almost 8, and friends for almost 10.  we argue healthily, as all couples who are not 100% compatible should.  we learn (hopefully) from every big argument.  but i’m a classic over-analyzer and i always wonder why did we argue about that?  how could we have prevented it?

so i spend all this time thinking and thinking and then spouting my findings to jason because i hate repeating the same arguments that we inevitably have because we just don’t operate the same way.

and often times, i’m struck by how different jason and i really are.  like, i’ve known for years that our decision making skills are very in line with our contrasting personalities– i weigh pros and cons, jason goes with his gut feeling– but i’m also learning (and accepting) that we just don’t think alike.

for example, this weekend we were arguing about something that i can’t even remember right now, and the root cause boiled down to this.

i’m naturally a very inquisitive person.  if i don’t understand something, i can’t just let it go, i have to ask questions or look it up or figure it out.  jason is naturally an explainer.  he explains and over explains, even when you don’t actually require an explanation.  so we interact very differently with each other and the world around us.  for example, i’ll say something and not explain myself because if i didn’t understand something, i would ask a question.  jason will hear me say something and not ask a question because he assumes that if it was important i would explain.  so then we misunderstand each other and it becomes this whole big thing that could have been avoided if i had only explained myself, or if jason would only have asked me to clarify.

so now i know, i have to try harder to explain things, and jason has to try harder to ask more questions.

who knew relationships were so hard??


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